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Online dating guides: Unfortunately, finding love at first sight is rare, and some people might experience a few bad dates before they meet their dream partner. Don’t be disheartened if you’re on a first date and you know the person sat opposite you is not the one. Try to make the most of the experience and learn from it. Just because you are both compatible in some things doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect for each other, and sometimes it’s best to move on to someone new. We all have to kiss a few frogs before we meet our prince or princess and you never know what’s around the corner.
I should make my messages personal, advises Hoffman: “Comment on something in his profile and follow with a question.” Dutifully, I tell one bespectacled prospect, “I like melty ice cream, too. What’s your favorite flavor?” I have some interesting chats, but nothing leads anywhere. After a lengthy back-and-forth with a cute guy who asks why I’m still single (beats me!), I try a Hoffman move, writing, “That’s a story better told over a drink.” He suggests… chicken fingers. As in fast food? Is this a sex thing I don’t know about?
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“You can follow every standard online dating tip and still end up dating someone you later regret or miss out on someone incredible if you don’t listen to your gut. While it can seem a bit ‘woo,’ research shows that our intuition is not only accurate, but also rooted in brain chemistry. It’s easy to talk ourselves out of listening to that inner voice, but trust it, even if you’re not sure why a potential date seems iffy or like a heck yes. If you slow down enough to hone in on your instincts while getting to know a person, you won’t rush into something unideal because of those lusty, punch-drunk chemicals. You might also give someone you wouldn’t have expected to go for a chance and end up extremely grateful that you did.” —August McLaughlin, author of “Girl Boner”.
You learn so much more from a person’s manner and demeanor — whether he makes eye contact, her tone when she speaks, how often she smiles. You also recognize social niceties; that is, what sort of effort he makes to ask you questions, whether she is constantly checking her phone, etc. So much vital information is only disclosed in person. The goal shouldn’t be to find your perfect match but merely to winnow down the possibilities to a reasonable number, and then to meet those people IRL. It can be hard, when you so badly want to find “the one,” but getting to know another person, truly, takes time and patience. What are some other tips you have for evaluating online profiles for compatibility? Let us know in the comments.
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